What If You Saw Everything Airport Edition?

Hello IGWers,

Disturbing news from the airport front. Not only does it cost money to check bags, more money for flights and fewer conveniences. Now when you are going through security you will literally be showing everything.

A test program is implementing a new scanning system that goes through clothing to reveal all the left underneath. Supposedly the program has already been tested in Europe, but the testing is coming to America.

Of course, you still have the option of getting a wonderful pat-down, yet the options have kind of ran out for you at the airport. I’m sure the ACLU will be quick to act. I mean who really wants to show everything inside of them.

Enjoy the picture.

Modern Day Trojan Horse

Hello IGWers,

I’m sure many of you know the story of the Trojan horse. For those of you that don’t, here is the quick rundown. The basic story is that the Greeks hid inside of a huge Trojan horse waiting to seize on the opportunity to attack the guards and alert their colleagues of the incoming attack. After the fellow soldiers were alerted, Troy was swiftly attacked.

Now it has been a very long time since this happened, but it got me wondering. What type of device would a modern day Trojan horse type attack take place in? Here are 10 of my favorites:

1. An over-sized Toyota Prius- Eco-friendly and fuel conscious. This is sure to draw a huge crowd in no time.

2. An over-sized iPod. Call it the xetabyte iPod, but if Steve Jobs hypes it up you could draw out any city in the world.

3. An over-sized mortgage check. A real huge check coming on time would definitely attract the banks.

4. The mythical dot-com bubble 2.0. I mean the first bubble attracted so many people and destroyed cities, don’t you think bubble 2.0 could?

5. Subway Jared’s pants- I mean this guy was huge. I’m sure the right group could manage to fit in his pants long enough for an attack.

6. Bear Stearn’s Old Bank Accounts- I mean if you lose billions of dollars. You have to have some banking drawers sitting around, don’t you?

7. Howard Stern’s Sirius Contract- I know you remember Howard’s contract from Sirius. Everyone was so blind-sided that you could definitely attack a village if you released another one of these.

8. Martha Stewart’s self-designed stock certificate escape. While people were so busy pouncing on Martha you could signal anyone you wanted including your own qualified broker.

9. A giant sudoku puzzle. Put this thing on expert and enough people will stand around. But like most expert puzzles the visitors will fade and you will be able to attack.

10. Britney’s Bills- Britney sure can spend money and she has to pay tons of legal bills, custody bills, car bills, failed contracts, etc. This is a no-brainer if you ask me.

Recap- The modern day Trojan Horse is easier than I thought it would be.

Hondo

Things Better Together

Hello IGWers,

I have been thinking about things that should just go together. I mean you all know the obvious ones, peanut butter and jelly, milk and cookies, etc. I’m not going to bore you with those. Here are some other ideas I recently had.

1. Ketchup and Mustard in the same container separated of course

2. cheap paper notebooks with pen/pencil holders

3. remote control and automatic detection finders

This list is going to continue. I just needed to write down some immediate thoughts.

Hondo

Presidential Baseball Cards

Hello IGWers,

Hot off the presses here. I have word that Upper Deck. You know Upper Deck the playing card company. The people that charge several bucks for a stinking pack of baseball cards. They are at it with presidential baseball cards. Now I can see putting in Presidential baseball cards.

Several questions about the cards Upper Deck. Are 43 past presidents and 2 current nominees enough to justify printing cards. Are good presidents cards worth more than bad ones? Do assassinated president’s cards pay more? Do you get more or less money after a major event? Say GW before 9/11 or Abraham Lincoln’s card before the end of the Civil War?

Not sure what you are thinking here. Should have justed printed cards for the democratic primaries would have been a bigger sell.

Well I better go and try to find some money to buy myself a gold edition Benjamin Harrison Rookie card. I know that it will be worth a fortune.

Hondo

Comcast Kidnapping

Hello IGWers,

As the blogosphere can attest Comcast gets a great deal of grief all the time. I see both sides and I’m not here to argue that point. I’m here to talk about an elderly man accused of kidnapping a Comcast employee after he disconnected his surround sound.

The technician according to statements in the Nashville paper stated that he was locked in the man’s house and the dog of the man’s was put to him.

For those of you that just hate Comcast you are surely saying this is about time. However, the case is customer service gets its revenge literally.

Another excerpt can be found at http://www.politicalgateway.com/news/read/152919.

To Comcast Gone Wrong!

Hondo